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10/06/2004 Archived Entry: "Sowell "I Will" on my CD playerness~"

Pardon my angst for the moment:
I feel stupid sometimes. I'm in a bad mood now. Bad bad mood. So many things to do...and all I can do is stare at the two sentances on my Word Document cause my brain is going "STFU FOOL!" But I still have so much to do and so little time to do it and the lack of brain power is just making me feel dumb dumb dumb.

I haven't even started my Arabic presentation for due on Friday.

I miss my old mentors. Dixon and Klema. I haven't talked to them in years but I'm not sure what I'd say to them now. I guess I always fear disappointing the people I've always looked up to. I'm making my own decisions on my life and I'm confident in those decisions, but I still worry that the people I care about just won't approve, much less understand.

It's different with equals though...Crystal, my sisters, any of my friends really. But with people I look up to, I worry. People I still look up to.

Maybe I am too hard on myself like some people say...though maybe I'm not hard enough. Bah.