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08/10/2003 Archived Entry: "Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry cause you're so right. Don't dry with fakes or fears cause you will hate yourself in the end."

I feel immensely loved. I'm not quite sure it get better than this. It might. Actually it can. Everyone I love could feel this loved too. ^__^ I'll try my best to make this dream come true.

I really like the ending theme to Naruto. Most of the time I have to be pulled kicking and screaming to watch anything Tomo recommends. Mostly cause lots of fighting isn't really my thing. But I like Naruto. I'd like to hug a few of them. give them a big hug and say "you can do it! I believe you!" The ending theme is also really sweet. Most of the time I either laugh or cringe at Engrish, but this is so...charming. It makes me smile.

Nigaki's leaving for college in two weeks. Thinking about her gone really shows me what a large void that would be. She's such a completely irreplacable individual. It makes me want to cry.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to deal with college myself. so far I've gained so much weight back and I really hope I don't loose it. I'm a damn proud 145. That's record for me. I've never been 145 before. Then again I've never been this proud of my existance before. That also makes me want to cry. I used to feel so guilty of my existance. I've never felt so loved and blessed and never really realized I had meaning. I think this is a new beginning for me. The beginning of a new chapter on figuring out exactly who I am. I think I'm finally starting to learn what living really is. The smiling faces of my friends and family spread to me. And with tears in my eyes I will smile wide.