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08/01/2003 Archived Entry: "*salsa dances*"

I just found out that my cable gets MTV espanol. I've been watching spanish music videos for the past couple hours and dancing around to a few of them. *shakes hips* Latin music is so much fun.

I might actually be able to go to anime night this week. Well...I'll be a bit late. Hopefully they won't keep me over either. Maybe everyone'll be disappointed that they don't have a reason to visit me at work. *grins* I know the REAL reason why everyone visits me.

My heart hurts worrying over some of my friends. Some are in pain, some are going to be a pain to others, some will be in pain for a long time and there's no way for me to help.

At least I still have hope. I have a lot of hope for the future. I know that it's still there and the ways to truely heal are still out there. I know it. I believe in that hope.

I'm scared though. Hope has been one of the very things that's hurt one of them for too long.

I still believe though. I can't give up now.

I'm no one of importance or skill or strength, but I know where there's hope. Sometimes I hold on too long and I've learned that lesson. But I truely believe in this.

I'm so scared to tell him that...he's had enough pain.

So I'm doing the only thing I can. Believing. Believing with all my heart and soul.

In other news. My father managed to figure out what has been bugging this computer. It's been having problems for a while even though both my father and I are good with keeping computers healthy. He's better at it than I though =p But we did everything from re-installing parts of the system to defraging to even calling tech support. Ran a system wide virus scan today and found out we've got some nasty buggers. They managed to get past the firewalls and have been screwing around. I don't have a clue how....oh wait. my sisters and mother use the comp too. *sighs* e_e; They aren't incredably techno-illerate, in fact they're pretty good for not being computer geeks in anyway, but I wouldn't be surprized that they open every single piece of spam email, pass on every chain letter, and check out every link that friends send them. ^_^; *sighs*

Oh, I've been becoming more and more worried about Courtney. She's slowly becoming a person I don't like. And I don't mean in the "ahh! she's annoying the hell out of me because of XYZ". You know, the typical sister bit. No, she's becoming more and more cold and cruel. She's never really been a fan of family things, but I thought she'd grow out of that. But now she's just getting worse and worse. Picking fights, insulting everything and anything she finds even mildly distasteful, trying to find as many wrong things about the anything that has to do with our family the people in it and even anything that is associated with us (including interests). I thought it'd just be a phase...she loves us right? She loves me right? I'm not so sure anymore. It's not like Lindsay where I know that she continues to love and just has fun poking fun at all of us. Courtney has just become more and more cold hearted. I don't want to see my sister become a person I couldn't like because I love her. My syblings mean alot to me.

Well time for sleep. Sweet dreams.

Ganbatte!