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12/05/2002 Archived Entry: "rant. I need to. don't think I'm eternally pissed off."

ok. I think I'm actually going to use this blog for what most blogs are used for. blowing off steam and ranting. woosh. ok. here goes.

I have a friend. she's very....non confrontational. except when it comes to other people's problems. I've always tried to be very understanding. I listen to what she says, honestly try and think about it. But the second I start having my own opinions she gets completely defensive and "drop the subject". Damn it! what ever happened to having a place where I could just be myself. friends are supposed to be like that right? So she rants, I listen and digest. I rant, I suddenly "don't understand at all" and I'm "deaf" and a whole bunch of other stuff. damn it! that's not true! That's not true at all! What am I? One of those Furbies that repeat everything the other says in nonsense?

Am I suppose to not take a stand on anything? *sighs* should I even bother? she won't change. but I still worry about her. baka.

Maybe I should just not talk to her for a while. see if she even want to bother being my friend. damn it, and it annoys me so much that after this sort of stuff happens she talks with me the next day as if nothing happened at all. Something definetly happened because it hurt! grrr I'm not just going to let things sit and rot I can't just do that. Either she gets even a marginal clue that I don't like being a doormat all the time or she lost someone to talk to. because I really don't want to take that anymore and I won't. that doesn't mean I won't still worry about her but I'm not going to put up with her. simple as that.

And also this wasn't just a one time thing with her. it's been going on for a while. I think you'd probably apologize if you ever did something like that. *nod nods* van-kun's a nice person ^_^